I have helped hundreds of people to date, to heal from the pain of narcissistic abuse and can help you too.I decided to specialise after decades of experiencing the impacts of narcissistic traits in family, relationships and work. My lack of self-awareness, trauma bondedness and ‘hopeful self’ kept me battling to achieve the approval and love of difficult people. Those experiences, and my healing journey (always ongoing) allow me to bring a deeper level of understanding and to validate your story; it also means that I have a good instinct for the appropriate methods that can help you to heal.
We cannot solely talk our way into healing from narcissistic abuse and there is no one therapeutic modality that could be effective enough to cover the range and depth of its impacts. As such I am what’s known as an ‘integrative’ therapist, which means I use wide range of therapeutic approaches tailored specifically for you. For a comprehensive explanation of what integrative counselling means, please click this [LINK]
I am results-oriented, as I recognise that you want to make a real and lasting change, so while the therapy is client-led I also weave in a programme of readings, psycho-education, tools, techniques and approaches that I have observed over the years work well in terms of bringing about healing from this abuse. However, all of these take thought, reflection, constant practice through repetition and a willingness to let go of old beliefs and coping strategies, so that you see yourself and your situation through a completely new lens. Because the therapy can be demanding I ask for a high-level of motivation.
My aim too is that you will learn to become your own therapist – many of these impacts will shrink but some have a tendency to re-occur given certain triggering situations or levels of stress and anxiety, so self-observation and management is vital.
Narcissism exists on a continuum – very few people have the clinical disorder (NPD) which sits at the top end, and at the other end we have healthy narcissism (a disputed concept), which I believe is what we all aspire to. In using the word ‘narcissist’ in the descriptors, please bear in mind that I am not aiming to shame those who struggle with narcissism. Social and online media has encouraged the over-use of the word and I do not aim to use it in a derogatory fashion. However, when we relationally interact with people at the higher end of the narcissistic spectrum – those who have enduring and pervasive traits and are beyond a level of self-awareness of their narcissism – that can be harmful, often traumatising, and the descriptions are aimed at that end.
Length and frequency of sessions
I work with clients on both a short and long-term basis – 6-9 sessions and up to three years, and am very open to clients returning as issues occur within their lives. Sessions are held on a weekly or every other week basis to suit you.
After the initial phone call, we will potentially arrange a 1.5-hour assessment session. In the assessment, we will talk about your presenting issues, I will take a comprehensive history of your life, we will discuss your therapeutic goals, how I work, and after any questions we can decide whether to move forward to therapy.
I am not qualified to make a clinical diagnosis of narcissism or NPD. What is within my remit is to recognise the behavioural traits that indicate a person is higher on the narcissistic spectrum, or has NPD. In the hundreds of client stories that I have heard to date, there are striking similarities, with particular behaviours and phrases signalling that a narcissist is involved. It goes without saying that if I don’t believe a person is narcissistic, I will say so.
Given the field that I operate in, I also attract clients who are narcissistic and will always take an informed decision on how to proceed with therapy. For those of you who have been brough up by or relationally involved with narcissistic people, I have an awareness of the particular dynamics that you may unconsciously bring to the therapeutic relationship and space.
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I am fully CRB checked.
I am a Registered member of the BACP.
I am an Accredited member of the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society.
I am on a register that has been accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.
I worked as a volunteer counsellor for Basildon Mind for three and a half years. While at Mind I trained in the Rewind technique for PTSD.
Advanced Professional Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling (Ad Pro Dip PC) National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society.
Diploma in Hypnotherapy and Counselling Skills (Dip Hyp CS)
National Hypnotherapy Society.
Applied EFT Level 2 (Practitioner) certificate
Practitioner certificate in EMDR from EMDR Centre London
Advanced workshop training with Dr Laurel Parnell in Attachment-Focused EMDR for Healing Relational Trauma and Adults Abused in Childhood
Member of the Parnell Institute
I undertake regular CPD trainings with acknowledged experts in the fields of trauma, of narcissism and of narcissistic abuse, as well as trainings in a wide range of other known impacts of narcissistic abuse.
I am currently undertaking Certified Complex Trauma Treatment Professional Level II (CCTP-II) training with trauma expert Dr Janina Fisher.
Please note: I am not able to offer legal advice regarding narcissists in legal disputes; I am not an emergency resource in acute situations.